Two Plus Stray Cats

 

Who wants to kill an unwanted cat?  Well, not me.  What to do?  I decided to take all eleven kitties to the vet and have them put down.  Even though I was willing to pay, the dear vet just didn't want to.  So he offered to adopt them as barn cats.  However, some of the rascals evaded me and I only managed to take nine of them off to their new lives.  

Of course, the two that are left began to multiply.  Mrs. Cat is soon to have numerous more kitties.  

I did want a cat.  A nice kitty that liked people.  This cat does not like people.  It is a feral kitty that skulks around in a weird way.  Her friend is even meaner and will rush up to me and scratch me to ribbons.  But, they expect food.  

I want a neutered, declawed kitty, I guess.   

Mrs. Cat  is expecting again.   The two seem to imagine that this is their house.  Get out.  Leave food.   They wait to attack me if I should go outside.   These are wild animals.  

So I have begun plotting.  First, I tried to trap them.  They stole my trap somehow.  OK.  I'm not done.   

I hesitate to do something as mean as poison.  I once looked on in horror as others threw little kittens into the drink in a pillowcase....

Well, what if a herd of buffaloes took up in the yard?  And then had a lot more buffaloes that didn't like you?

OK.  I tried to trap them.  I thought, well, you're going to the shelter or to the vet.  Maybe the vet will take you to live as barn cats, like your friends.  Maybe you'll be put down.  But how can I get you to the vet's?  They have eluded the traps.   Now??

OK, new plan.  I will put out delicious cat  food with Ambien sprinkled in it.  You eat the Ambien and go to sleep.  I toss you in a pet kennel.   You go to the vet's and get a procedure and go to live as barn kitties.  

Nobody wants to kill abandoned kitties.  Not even the vet.  Not even for money.  

I'm not through kitties.