The World's Toughest Pork

 

I've never attempted to eat meat as tough as the recent pork that was bestowed upon Mrs. Billingsley for her birthday.  

I don't know what cut of pork it was.  She had told me she would like to have pork chops for dinner on her special day.  OK.  I conveyed this thought second hand to others.  This definitely wasn't pork chops.  

I don't know how meat could get this tough.  I noticed that she didn't eat any of her meal as I was picking up after dinner.  She had just gone hungry.  I asked her why.  She said she couldn't chew it.  Well, I had eaten a piece and somehow gotten through it, but I didn't want any more.  

Some have suggested that I try putting it in the blender.  Hmmm.  Would the blender fix shoe leather?  The level of tough really is the toughest I've ever encountered.  I don't know how you would make this happen if that's what you were trying to do.  

Puzzling over this, I would guess that you would start off with a cut of pork that was almost total muscle.  There was no fat whatsoever.  Then I suppose you would overcook it.  Whatever cut this was, it wouldn't haven been hard to do.   I'm guessing it was economical.  

There was a hefty amount of this poor creature left over, around six quarts anyway.  Tonight we tried like hell to eat it.  First I pressured cooked it on high for two hours.  It was no use.  And I have good teeth.   Mrs. Billingsley saw me eat about a cup of the pork rock, and commented on the level of grim determination that took.   So that's it for this pork.  I'm going to have to dispose of the rest.   There's just no hope of trying to eat it.   Well, maybe the stray kitties can deal with it.

It's 8:00 pm now.  I have the feeling I should make something for Mrs. Billingsley for dinner.   I guess she'll have to go hungry again because I'm not up to making a second dinner.   She asked me to make her some toast, but we're out of bread.  I'm hungry too.