Monday, April 15, 2024

Angel Safe Houses In the Tribulation



 

As I recently mentioned, the end is near.  I think we all know this.  And a new cause for hope in troubled times has found its way to my sphere of knowledge - angel safe houses.  


Have you ever heard of the Rapture?  The facts are that Scripture has very little to say about it.   It took creative genius to invent the Rapture narrative that most of the evangelical churches ascribe to today.  This begs the question, "What if there is no Rapture?"  OK, time to call the creative geniuses back in.   The recent thinking is that in the Tribulation, when the wrath of God is poured upon the earth, the angels will put the Christians in angel safe houses to protect them.  


What will we do in the angel safe houses during those seven long years of the Tribulation?  I suppose we would follow the lead of the angels and do whatever they were doing.  This is something that most people haven't thought through.  What do angels do all day?  Let's see.  I've heard that they sing and play beautiful music a lot.  Also, they keep a special report every day of the conditions of the lives of little children and give this report to God daily.  I imagine they do other reports of earthly goings on.  Oh, no doubt we would be singing and playing music quite a bit in the safe houses, along with the angels.  Do they go to church and sit through sermons?   Do they study hobbies like ornithology?  Do paintings of landscapes?  Who writes these angel songs anyway?  Some of the angels must be poets.  Will we be eating manna all the time?   Will there be TV?  Internet?  Smart phones? 


So, it will probably be an interesting place to be....for a while.  But some of the Christians will eventually be tired of being cooped up in the safe houses all the time, and start chatting among themselves of "going partying."  At first, the talk is just fantasizing.  But before long plans are formulated.  


First of all, these trips need to happen at times when the wrath of God is at a low.  "Have you noticed a pattern?" one of them will ask.  "Yes," says another, "The wrath of God seems to happen on weekdays, but not the weekend."  "I don't even think it happens on Mondays," say another.  "That would make sense," someone chimes in.  "All the avenging angels would all take the weekend off, then come back on Monday.  But Monday is out because things have to be put in place and organized.  So the wrath is likely to happen on a Tuesday or Wednesday morning."  "That reminds me of the bombing of the federal building in Oklahoma.  Wednesday norming at 9:02 am."  "And what about the World Trade Center?  Tuesday morning at 9:03 am."  


And so the thinking is that the best times to go partying would be Mondays, and possibly Thursday or Fridays, especially in the afternoons and evenings.  


Inevitably, this will lead to tragedy, as some of the Christians are out of the protection of the angel safe houses when disaster strikes.  Consider the following scenario:


to be continued

7 comments:

  1. Have you looked at steam showers. I think angels would like them.

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    1. I'm not sure. I don't know about this

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    2. https://www.bhg.com/what-is-a-steam-shower-7500286

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    3. Angels want this.

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    4. I read the article, but it seemed to leave out some things. I have taken a steam bath or something at a gym. Did I like it? It was OK I suppose. They called it a sauna. So what I didn't see in the article was any discussion of the benefits, except to say it had physical health benefits, and it was relaxing. This was vague and also, how does it compare to a sauna or a hot bath? I'm not disputing the steam shower idea as being desirable or not, I just didn't see anything except for a mention of the temperature range and a lot of description of installation. I am curious about it, but two things. Is this angel looking at this Ursula? How is it preferable to a sauna or hot bath? I like to take hot baths, and I have a little personal sauna that goes up to about 150º, so some of the spa therapy bases have been covered here. Not that I don't applaud this idea. I just don't feel very informed about it.

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  2. I was in a steam room at the gym, which also had a sauna. There wasn't much going on with aromatherapy and I worried about mold. It was dark and I couldn't stay in there very long. I like the sauna better because it smelled nicer. What I liked was the idea of relaxing before going to sleep. I think I would like a place to lay down. My jacuzzi takes forever to fill up, and it's hard to clean. I should probably make better use of my bathtub, since it's quick, effective and a more reasonable thing to do. I did like the pictures and the idea.

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    1. The mold problem was the reason the gym quit using the steam room I think. Yes, a nice hot bath is not time consuming in a standard bathtub. I think it takes me 10 minutes to fill. Then a 10 to 20 minute bath. Problem. If you increase your temperature very much you will still be feverish when you go to bed.

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