I would never have thought the mailbox issue could get so complex. I used all the tender loving care in the world getting my post ready for its marriage to the new mailbox. Yes, it's beautiful. OK, the post is cockeyed. It occurred to me that when it was put in the ground, no concrete was used to ensure its stability. I'm pretty sure I'm correct on this because I've scrutinized it and there just isn't any concrete holding the post in place properly.
But that's not the worst of the way the job was originally done. I guess I can live with a cockeyed post except for the thought that concrete would have protected the part in the ground from the elements.
But the real mischief was seeing the way the mailbox was attached to the post. It definitely wasn't screwed on or nailed on, even though someone had put predrilled holes in the little shelf to attach the box with. No, no. It was glued on. The glue was still to be seen on the bottom of the box and the top of the shelf. Probably just Elmer's glue. It's hard to wrap your head around.
And so I've been left to figure out the installation of mailboxes on my own. What an education.
Driving around the local roads I've been more aware of the mailbox efforts around here. Desperate little nods to the Post Office. Mostly no one goes to very much trouble with them. To speak plainly, they are pathetic eyesores, unworthy of the US Mail. And maybe this explains some of the strangeness that happens to mailboxes at night, around the witching hour. Sooner or later one goes out to check the mail and finds the mailbox smashed to pieces with a baseball bat, maybe by someone who just couldn't take the scruffiness of it another second. One might wonder if it was someone that was angry with them. Was it a message from an enemy? Usually it is blamed on "kids." Did I ever bash up any mailboxes as a kid? Goodness no. If I had I would have been torn limb from limb by my parents.
But once your mailbox has been taken out with a baseball bat, it makes you think. And that's why you'll sometimes notice that some of the mailboxes have little mailbox houses built just for them.
Hey. Nice. Try taking that out with a baseball bat you little witches. I wonder what new level of terror they'll come up with to defeat this fortress? Someone put a squirrel in a mailbox once. There was a panic when the mailman opened the box and the squirrel lunged at them. This is illegal btw.
I've turned the whole problem over in my head. How to protect my mailbox. Well, at the whack of a bat, the top of the mailbox flips off springing a hidden giant mousetrap. Or maybe the whack trips the pit next to the mailbox to open causing the "kid" to plunge into the abyss as a net tangles him up and ensnares him. Heh heh heh. You come out to get the mail, notice a baseball bat lying in the road and a whimpering voice saying, "Help me. Please. Help me." "Do you swear by all that's holy never to hit my mailbox with a baseball bat again?" you ask. "Yes, anything..."
I hope in a day or two I'll be back in the good graces of the Post Office and have my mailbox installed on the post. I tried already to screw it on, but I haven't been able to get the screws in. Mother wants to try to do it. I just can't seem to get them started. I know, there are predrilled holes, but they aren't in exactly the right place for this box. I imagine a hammer would start the screws better.
More pretty mailboxes:
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