Have you ever heard of Mrs. Murders? She is written about on page 26 of "The Longhorn Feud" by Max Brand.
Mrs. Murders is a spider that lived in a house in the Old West. Wait. This sounds familiar.
What ever happened to my spider? Didn't he get stepped on? Well, that's what I thought. I thought that for a few days. All the way up to one special spidery day.
About a week ago now I walked into the bedroom and there on a roll of paper towels that I had left on the bed was my spider. This is a giant wolf spider. It seemed almost as large as the roll of paper towels.
This spider likes cushy things. Piles of laundry. My bed. Rolls of paper towels. "Oh nice!" he thinks. He sat there in his glory while pandemonium broke out. What could he have imagined my reaction would be? Southern hospitality?
I gingerly picked up the roll of paper towels and moved it ever so slowly while he just continued to sit there. Then I threw it on the floor. Smart. I thought I had killed him this time. He hurried out from under the paper towels and sat there for a moment looking at me. "What was that about?" he asked.
There was an empty box nearby. And why was there an empty box. Why hadn't I thrown that away? I don't know. He moved in there. Sometimes I have seen him come out for a moment, but he's begun to doubt our friendship and runs back to his safe little box. I can't remove the box because there's a spider in it.
I have been plotting against him. He senses this. I am going to get my grabby snatcher and pick up the box with it. Then I'm going to put the box in the yard. End of problem.
What amazes me about this whole situation is that Mr. Murders seems to not only think but remember things and learn things. He leapt to the conclusion at some point that we were friends. As he supposed our relationship progressed he moved onto the bed. This was his home! Now he's not so sure. OK. He stays off the bed. For now. His swagger around me is not as obvious. These crazy things think thoughts. I've trained him.
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