Miracle Cure

 

I have more than one miracle cure.  I guess I have three.  Then I run out of ideas and take an aspirin.  

1)  Take a hot bath.  Fine.  Soak in water at about 110-112º F (about 43.3-44.4º Celsius) until you give up.  Even a few minutes of this works wonders.  

2)  Fast.  Well, that's out.  

3)  Take 3% hydrogen peroxide, pour some into the cap of the bottle, and snort into each nostril.  That's a feeling like no other.  When you can breathe, gargle with the substance for a minute.  

4)  Reward yourself with an aspirin.  

5)  Go lie down under the covers.